My Uterus Tried To Kill Me

Yep, you read that right. I was hospitalized for 4 days and now face surgery to remove an irrelevant system from my body, because my uterus tried to kill me. Well, technically it was severe blood loss and an infection response caused by a very angry fibroid and misbehaving IUD, but it’s not something I want to experience again. So, out it goes!

I had a lot of downtime in the hospital, and then at home during recovery, and I spent a good portion of it reading. Because, well, books are life. And they are an incredible escape. But as I sat there in the hospital, and then again at home, I started to wonder if what I was experiencing was normal. And what happened next. And how awesome it would be to dive into a novel with a heroine who had gone through what I am and came out winning on the other side. And I realized I didn’t even know how to find that book if it did exist. It wasn’t something I had come across in any of the books I had read already.

In fact, thinking back over the nearly 250 romance novels I’ve read since March 2020, I couldn’t remember many books dealing with sensitive female issues at all. Whether it's getting their period, having period issues, trouble getting pregnant, etc, it’s just not a common thread in the romance novels I’ve read so far. I know romance is supposed to be beautiful and happy, and I absolutely want and need that HEA, but as a genre with a majority female audience I thought there'd be more focus on female “issues”. I’m not saying it’s not out there at all. I’m just sad I haven’t really found those books. And I didn’t even realize I was missing that element until this entire awful experience happened to me.

Thinking about it, it’s pretty awesome when a male character makes an effort to support the women in his life by learning a bit more about female things. Cooper Miles (Reckless Miles by Claire Kingsley) learning all the pregnancy stuff to help his sister-in-law Zoe was heartwarming and humorous, and so incredibly Cooper. I remember reading a book where the male main character buys a box of everything in the pad and tampon aisle because he doesn’t know what the female main character will need, but he knows she’ll need something. And now I wish I could remember what book that was. I guess it made enough of an impact at the time to think, “awwww, how sweet,” but not a big enough impact to remember who did it. Hmmmm… that’s frustrating.

Now, I do clearly remember the touching epilogue Janice Whitaker wrote about a couple going through the heartbreak of multiple miscarriages. It was raw, and real, and very emotional, and I felt like she really embraced the need to make that side of romance more relevant and inclusive to readers who are struggling to find their family HEA, even when they’ve found their partner HEA. And Melanie Harlow’s Call Me Crazy is an absolute standout for tackling fertility issues with dignity and humor. But so far nothing I’ve read focuses on women, particularly the 40s-50s set, dealing with issues like I am. Maybe it’s just not in the books I gravitate to, but I want to change that. Because I’m finding I really need that connection.

Fortunately, there are so many awesome book groups on-line that I know if I ask for specific recommendations, I’ll get them. But I don’t even completely know what to ask or what I’m looking for. Am I looking for a story about a woman who experiences issues and is helped through it by a medical professional who becomes her HEA? Or a best friends to lovers later in life HEA? Second chance romance? Or, is there even a novel where she goes through this with her husband and it brings them closer together after having experienced a relationship lull for years?

I will readily admit that most of the novels I’ve read, and are currently on my TBR, have stories that center around younger couples. So of course the issues I’m living through are not going to be that common. Is that an aspect of authors writing from their experience (because so many of them are so young, so of course their characters are)? Or are the authors I gravitate to so far writing for a specifically younger audience? Or are authors just not wanting to delve into the icky parts of aging and the other side of fertility? Maybe I need to up my age bracket for characters in the novels I’m reading?

I love seeing the romance audience growing every day. The “Welcome” posts in social media groups are longer every week, and the group numbers are always rising. I imagine a lot of new readers are young, but there’s definitely a growing group of us 40, 50, 60-somethings as well. Plus, young romance readers will eventually level up and join the ranks of us more “mature” readers. Finding a friend in a book we can connect to based on shared experiences could be pretty nice as we navigate our own aging issues. So, lovely readers, what have you read along these lines that you can connect me with? Or are you with me in the search for a story that balances the glorious parts of being a girl with the whispered struggles that challenge many of us?