I Married my HEA

It’s October 17, 2021. And it’s my 22nd anniversary of being married to my HEA. Now I know I don’t live in a romance novel. I’m not delusional. Well, not completely anyway. But I am pretty confident that the man who put a ring on it 22 years ago is my true love. Does that mean life is perfect? Oh, hell no. Nor would I expect it to be. In fact, even in my beloved romance novels life is never perfect. That’s not the point of an HEA. To me, my real life HEA is more about knowing I made the right decision when I said yes. It’s knowing that waiting 9 years after we started dating to say yes gave us more than ample opportunities to say goodbye. And being grateful every day that we didn’t. It’s knowing that after 31 years together we recognize that we are going to argue, fight, disagree, slam doors, walk away, and even say things we’ll regret later, but each time we’re going to come back to each other and talk it through and come out better for it in the long run. Because we know, no matter what, we’ll always be better together than we are apart.

31 years together has given us both a lot of reasons to look back and smile. We’ve been through some really awesome times together. In addition to raising two amazing kids together, we’ve traveled (with and without the spawns), were members of Baltimore’s Marching Ravens together, worked at the Disney Store together, performed in musicals together, and just had a really good time doing things together. And I’m not gonna lie, we’ve also had some really rough times. Surgeries, the loss of close family members, illnesses, injuries... And we’ve been each other’s solid support system through it all. We recognize that tough times make us stronger together.

We’re not flowers, cards, and candy people here. More like “run your hands under cold water and put them under the other person’s shirt on their warm back while you’re pretending to hug them” people. But he shows me he loves me in so many little ways all the time. Today, just like every Sunday, he made homemade butterscotch chip pancakes with bacon for breakfast. Because food is our love language. And butterscotch pancakes are delish! There will be off-color humor, goofy commentary, random song lyrics and movie quotes, and dad jokes to make each other smile and laugh throughout the day as usual. And I’m pretty sure our “I Tolerate You” shirts will make an appearance as well (they were Christmas gifts to each other in 2020). Because nothing says “happily married” in our lives like telling someone you tolerate them very much.

He’s an emotional rock for me, a steady source of humor, and an honest reality check when I need it most. I know there are no guarantees in life, but I am going to take every day I get with him and live it to the fullest. I know tomorrow is never guaranteed, so each year on our anniversary I make myself a promise to do everything I can to enjoy each day, each adventure, each decision, and yeah, even each argument, and recognize this amazing thing we have together. Because it ain’t perfect, but it is exactly what I want my HEA to look like.