Fangirling

Shortly after I started reading romance novels, I joined several groups on Facebook that were romance novel related. I couldn’t see people in person, the walls were closing in, and I needed to find people to share in the joy around all the amazing books I was reading. While each group brought something different to my reading adventure, whether they were author centered, genre centered, or general appreciation, I quickly realized that in addition to readers posting and commenting, there was a lot of author interaction with the group members as well. Then several authors popped up as “suggested friends” on FB, and I noticed many of those authors even encouraged FB friending them through their newsletters, on their websites, and in the material at the end of their books. It took me a while to even consider doing that. I mean, did they really mean it? They’re published authors, with big fan bases. Why would they accept a friend request from me, some rando reader and fangirl? But it was Covidtimes. And I figured, what the heck. What do I have to lose? Worst case they ignore the friend request right? Well, apparently, umm, yeah, most would accept that random fan friend request. And, yeah, I did absolutely fangirl squee each and every time an author accepted my friend request.

Even as I was sending the requests, I kept asking myself why even bother? Was I just adding another “friend” to a growing list of people I would never interact with? Maybe. But as the requests were accepted, it felt more like a connection to something and someone way bigger than me. And it’s actually pretty amazing how much time the authors I’ve connected with spend with their fanbases. I know social media has made that much easier than it used to be. Fans are no longer reliant on signings and meet-and-greets for fleeting connections with their favorite authors. And social media platforms provide a streamlined way for authors to communicate and connect directly with large numbers of their readers all at once. Rather than being ushered quickly through a line for a momentary encounter with an author, readers now have the opportunity to engage with authors through livestreams, Q&As, contests, even just random posts in their groups and pages. It has been a really unique experience seeing how different authors respond, react, and interact with their fan base. And how the readers in turn respond, react, and interact with the authors.

I can only experience the fangirl effect from my side of the screen, but I got some beautiful insight into the author’s mind while reading Love Always, Wild by A.M Johnson. (If you haven’t read it yet, you need to. Seriously, read it.) Wilder Welles, a breakout author, struggles through a book signing because he can’t understand why people would be there to see him. He considers himself not important and uninteresting. In an e-mail after the event Wild tells his friend, “It was weird, having all these strangers stare at me like I was something shiny.” His friend responds with, “You’re important to them. You talk about books all the time. How you feel about those books is how they feel about yours. Why is that bad?” OMG! I read that passage so many times I think my Kindle was wondering if I forgot how to read. I always wonder if the authors I read struggle with meeting fans. And if they do, why. This passage made so much sense to me and highlighted a completely different aspect of author signings- the author’s investment and the toll it takes. My anxiety over meeting the authors I love is chaotic for my brain, I cannot even imagine how they’re feeling. And that idea of being on display is intense, especially when I consider that most of the authors I know are introverts and often write to escape the daily chaos of interactions with other people. The excitement of being across the table from the person who wrote the words that changed your life, made a strong impact on a decision you made, or just made you smile and laugh when all you knew at that time was sorrow- that’s intense. Really really intense. Reading about how that intensity impacts the author… it was a bit of a *shut the book… “whoa….”* moment.

Now, I really love when my fangirl moments are shared by other fangirls. A fellow reader of Love Always, Wild sent me a screenshot with the entire first paragraph of Chapter 9 highlighted. For reference, that’s the same chapter the passage above is from. Wild is waiting behind a curtain for his book signing to start, and he’s lamenting the very concept of a book signing. And the idea that to the person getting their book signed, it’s a significant event. The book will truly be cherished by that reader, but what happens next is pretty bleak. What happens when the owner loses the book,

or passes away? Does it wind up in a dollar bin at a used bookstore, the author and the experience forgotten? It is truly a beautifully written passage with a deeply emotional resonance to many of us. With the screenshot, my reader friend Valerie messaged me this: “This whole paragraph just made me really sad. I hope authors don’t actually feel this way … Every time I finish a book I try to find a way to get a message to the author. Sometimes it’s as simple as a good review, but books that really get to me, I try so hard to get a direct message to them! They need to know how their words change our lives!”

Dammit! I’m sitting here in tears typing her words onto the page. Much as I cried when I read that first paragraph in Chapter 9. We fangirl because the authors we love write words that deeply affect us. They bring us together with people who feel the same way. And then we fangirl together. Over the writing, yes, but even more so over the writer of the words that have touched us the most.

Remember that blog I did about audiobooks? If not, you should read it. After you read this one. Or before. Whichever. Just read it :-) Anyway, as part of writing that blog I reached out to an audiobook narrator I “knew” from another group I was in to see if he would be willing to answer the questions my brain squirrels kept asking. Yes, I know I put “” around knew, and that was intentional. I’ve never actually met him in person. Our interactions have been your typical “like and comment” on posts in groups, or occasionally on each other’s timeline posts. But he had no clue who I was. I honestly wasn’t sure if he would even respond to my message. And if he did, would he even agree to look at the questions. Yep, I did slam my computer shut in surprise when he not only agreed to answer my questions, but instead of sending written replies he asked if a phone call would work. *Cue screaming fangirl squeee here* And, yep, I totally did that, too. Scared the crap out of my dog. And possibly a neighbor or two. Anyway, we set a date and time, and I put it out of my head for a few days because I had a crapton of things going on. The day came, and that morning I had this sudden realization that I was going to be speaking to the voice of two of my favorite characters in Romancelandia. *Cue fangirl panic mode!* And massive excitement. I’m sure I babbled my way through thanking him, and then we had a really fantastic time talking about the audiobook industry in general and the romance novel audiobook industry specifically. I wound up with all the answers I was looking for and more. He really put me at ease, and other than a few overly excited moments on my part, I think I reeled in the fangirl pretty well. At least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.

Beyond just the interview experience, it really was so much more than just getting answers to questions. And it wasn’t just a conversation with another person. It was an interaction with a voice I had associated with characters I absolutely love. I wasn’t just meeting someone in the audiobook industry, I was, in a way, meeting those characters. That was terrifying and exciting and exhilarating all at the same time. And it was pretty damn cool.

Up until now my fangirling has been limited to on-line/phone interactions. Interactions with significant distance and safety, a buffer zone of comfort. But, there’s an event coming up in November, a pretty big one, where I’m going to have to reel in my anxiety over meeting new people in person. Indies Invade Philly is a lot closer now than it was when I got all excited about going and waited on-line for the tickets to open like it was a freaking Eagles reunion tour. And it’s not just the authors and audiobook narrators I’m fangirl freaking out about meeting. It’s other readers! Can you fangirl over other fangirls? Is that a thing? I’m making it a thing. Because something about meeting other readers who excitedly wait for an author’s next book release or narrator’s next audiobook has me over-the-top excited about November. These are people I’ve become close with, on Facebook, because of books. We’ve shared personal stories about ourselves and our families, commiserated over things we’ve missed during Covidtimes, and bonded over the same fictional characters in our favorite authors’ books. I feel like there’s something really special there, and those connections have sometimes been even more instrumental in my bookjoy than the books themselves. So while I fully intend to fangirl over the authors & narrators, treasuring each and every signature, smile, and verbal exchange with them, I also fully expect to fangirl just as much over the hugs, laughter, drinks & meals shared with the other readers who have become my book family over the past 18 months. And if I’m really lucky, those groups will have some beautiful overlap since I know there are some authors ready to set their inner fangirl free and meet their favorite writers and narrators as well. I hope the Philadelphia Convention Center is ready for us, because I’m pretty sure we’re all ready to light the world on fire with our excitement. And I predict it’s going to be pretty fangirling amazing.